It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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