names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
