i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
