They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize