Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
