You can't special order awesome
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
