Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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