He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
