once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
