apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
