Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
