the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
