I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
