hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
