I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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