ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
