Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's the barista slut.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
