the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
