there's paper in my vomit.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
