I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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