So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
