You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
