Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
