is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
