I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
