A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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