Me too!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
