There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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