i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
