Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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