My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
