You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Swine flu. Run for my life!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
