also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
