Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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