He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
