I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Can I color on your dick again?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
