Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
