Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
