new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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