I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
