he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
