we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
