I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
