I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
