Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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