This girl is more easily done than said...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just google imaged poop.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
