Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
