I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
should my penis look like a turkey
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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