all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
