Cold hands, warm shart.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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